Even when it's hard....

We have been in Missouri for an entire month now and I will be honest - 

I am not too sure about how I feel. 

I feel homesick for California more then I have ever before. 

I feel discouraged that I have not found a job yet. 

I feel overwhelmed and confused. 

I feel frustrated and anxious. 

When my feelings get so polluted and confusing I have to run to The Lord. 

Friends, I am being honest -- if I had money I would joyfully go back to my beloved town in California. I would start attending my old church with a newfound appreciation. I would savor every restaurant, every coffee shop, every smell, every moment. I would hug my family and friends a little longer. I would enjoy the weather and happily go to work daily. I miss it more then I thought I would. And I haven't lived there in two years! 

But moving back to California is not an option and I have to trust God during this time. I don't know why I am here and I have to fight back the bitterness of living in yet another new state. 

BUT in the midst of all these feelings... I will trust God. 

Father, help me. Help me too see the reason why I am here. I never want to lose my joy in any season. As a new mom I am trying to learn a new way to live my life and I thank you for that. I thank you and praise you for my son. There is so much newness in my life right now and I pray that I will trust you during this time... Even when it's hard. Thank you for listening to my prayers and heart's cry - even when it's repetitive. Amen. 

New states, acclimating to a new call, and love. -Monica 

Dear Seth

Dear Seth, 

I am still in shock that you are about to be 3 months old! You are now laughing, smiling, and talking. You have discovered your hands and love to grab your daddy's face. You cannot poop, fart, or burp without one of us clapping and smiling. You are already so curious and try to pay attention to everything going on around you. 

You delight us. 

We have tried to implement a nighttime routine with you with bath time, lotion, and nightly prayers. We all sleep a little better after time with The Lord. My hope is that you won't have one memory or going to sleep without our nightly prayers in them. 

Seth, I pray that I can be the mommy you need. My biggest prayer is that The Lord will teach me and guide me along this road as a new mom. I want to LEAD you, son. Not so that you will follow "my religion", or so that you "don't get into trouble". But so that you will know FIRST HAND the power, grace, and love of The Lord. Of all my hopes and dreams for you, that is the most important one to me. 

Even now as you lay next to me and start to drift asleep I pray that Holy Spirit will encounter you. 

You are a mighty man of valor, Seth. 

I love you so much! 

Forever, Mommy

Fridays letters

Lets write some letters with Ashley today. 

Dear Fall,

I love you! Pumpkin spice lattes, scarves, beautiful colors, boots, football, and snuggles! There is not much I don't love about you -- except that you leave me. But I plan to enjoy every moment you are here! 

Dear Missouri, 

We have been here a week. I know there is so much more of you to explore but so far I like you. Not so much the drivers here... But I know you can't help that. Please go easy on me this winter -- I am not a fan of snow. 

Dear Husby, 

I am sorry for all my crankiness! Lack of sleep and adjusting to life with a newborn is been a lot tougher then I imagined. Thank you for grace and forgiveness even when I don't deserve it. I will try my best to treat you better. I love you so much!

Dear Baby V, 

My love for you grows every single day! I am still in awe of you and that you were inside my belly. It's so funny how every little thing you do makes me smile - even if its burping or farting. I pray for you every day; that The Lord will speak to you and guard you. I pray that you will grow strong physically and spiritually. I pray that you will know who God is and that you will live a life that points to Christ. I love you so much my little munchkin. And I always will. 

Dear Lord, 

Thank you. Thank you for my life. My prayer is that others will see You exalted in my life. You are so good. Even in my confusion - You are good. Even in my stupidity - You are good. In my disbelief, rebellion, and fear - You are always good. I pray I never forget that. I adore you. 

Dear readers/followers/friends, 

Once again you encourage me! I wish I could give you all tons of hugs. I love hearing your stories and experiences. Your testimonies continue to capture my attention -- even the ones that are not finished. Continue to trust The Lord. Remember that He wants to give you the desires of our heart. He is so good and chose YOU! He chose you long before you chose Him. 

Thank you for reading and sharing in my joy of Baby V. Thank you for the prayers and excitement during my move. You are all so remarkable and impact my life so much! 

Happy weekend!!! 

Letters and love. - Monica 

Family photos

We just got back our family photos that we took in Alabama before we moved. 

It's so lush and green I really wanted to make sure to take pictures outside. 

Kristi Chappell is a wonderful photographer so if you are in the Birmingham/Gadsden, AL area make sure to check her out! 

I am so glad that we have taken photos every year around our anniversary. Love seeing out family grow and mature. 

Here are some of our photos! I am really looking forward to printing them to decorate our home! 

And look how much changed in two short years. 

Feeling so blessed. 

Color coordinating and love - Monica 

Yielding in faith

Well we made it to Missouri and we are starting to settle in to our new home sweet home! 

The trip was great! My sweet baby boy and puppy traveled beautifully and both slept majority of the time. Praise The Lord! 

Now I have a few moments to write a little post! 

So far my life has looked like this:

So many boxes!!!! 

We are chipping away slowly but surely {ok... I am doing more snuggling the baby then unpacking}. 

We had our first church service this morning and I am overjoyed!!!! 

My mother-in-love thought that service started at 10:00, so when we got there at 9:56 we were very happy to find out church actually started at 10:30! We will probably have to trick ourselves again next week to get there on time. {anyone else like this?} 

We absolutely ADORED the service and really felt welcomed. I feel at complete peace now. 

I was scared in the beginning and during the moving process, I didn't see how this was a good thing.... But God is always faithful. I keep learning this over and over and over again. He is faithful.... And I desire to be in His will. Even when it's uncomfortable. Even when it's hard. Even when it's an inconvenience. Even when I don't understand. Even when I am unsure. I still desire to stay where God wants me and leave when He says to. I am learning this in a new way. And at church The Lord just reconfirmed it. 

Is The Lord showing you anything lately? Anyone else learning this kind of trust? 

Yielding and love - Monica

{it took me three tries and two days to write this! Hehe goodness life has changed!} 

New adventure for us!!!

Well here is a BIG announcement! 

My beautiful family and I are in the middle of moving to Missouri! 

We have been praying for this change for awhile now and I am really excited for it! 

We are {once again} yielding to The Lord will for our lives. 

We have really enjoyed Alabama and all that has happened here. 

- me being able to stay home and be a wife and new momma

- southern adventures like eating collard greens. 

- sweet friendships

- getting pregnant and having our baby

- experiencing college football in Alabama (if you ever lived there... You know how intense that is!)

There is nothing I would change about our experience in Alabama but it is time for a new adventure! 

So, Mr. V and I packed up our house, baby V, and Sophia Belle and we are on our way! :) 

I probably won't be blogging from the road so if you want to check it out... Follow me on Instagram {@mrsv820} and twitter {@mrs_v820}. And I will be hash tagging #VfamilymovetoMO too! 

Moving and love, Monica 

Things I have learned since being a mommy...

I have already learned so much in the short month that Baby V has been here and I know there is still so much to learn. 

But I wanted to give you a little insight at what I have learned so far since being a mommy...

• sometimes a shower is just dry shampoo and baby wiping the spit up off your chest. 

• worrying is something you will get really good at. 

• google is your best friend and worst enemy. 

• there isn't a graceful way to open a door and walk through with a stroller. 

• coffee = life

• you really can survive off of 4 hours of sleep.

• it's true.... You miss the feeling of your little baby in your belly.

• your love for this precious human is beyond measure or comprehension. 

• when going out its actually really smart to bring spare clothes for you and baby. Odds are you will get something on yourself (breast milk, spit up, poo...)

• a messy bun is a go-to hair style... Yes, even to go out.

• people are going to have their opinions on your parenting (breast feeding, co sleeping, crying it out, formula, baby wearing, vaccines, diapers, bottles, discipline, potty training, etc...). Just remind them that this is your child and whether or not they agree with you... You will be the one who decides what YOU believe is best. After all, if picking up your child every time they cry will "spoil them" - you're the one who will have to deal with a spoiled child, not them. 

I can't wait to experience more of this beautiful gift of motherhood. 

Mommies - what have you all learned so far?

Learning and love - Monica