Sunday, June 22, 2014
I need grace {my realization}
Monday, May 26, 2014
A lesson from Jonah
Monday, December 16, 2013
Inspiring and convicting
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Kindness & declarations
I have been having difficulty with someone and honestly - it's hard on me.
Every relationship {to me} is an emotional one. My emotions get attached and its hard for me to separate them when someone gives me "constructive criticism". To me- its just plain out mean criticizing me as a person. I know when I type it out it sounds so silly, but in the moment I usually end up crying to my husband afterward.
This is something I REALLY want to work on... And I am getting better. {a little progress is still progress}
What I don't want to do is get offended and then be rude back. I want to learn to keep my composure, take the "advice" with a grain of salt, and be on my way. Not get my feelings so hurt that I feel like a failure as a person.
My husband reminded me last night that I need to line up what I think about myself (and what someone might say about me) to scripture. A beautiful friend of mine, Michelle, started a blog and on it she has a list of declarations to speak every morning! Amazing powerful things to remind yourself of the promises in scripture and the things that are written toward us in the Bible! (Check out her blog - www.byloveredeemed.blogspot.com )
Today is the first day I read them and I already feel more confident and prepared for anything!
God's truth about me has to be the number one thing in my life! If I know who I am and who's I am -- it won't matter what opinion Sally Sue has about me.
And sometimes it is better to choose joy in that moment and represent it to Sally Sue. Even when we don't feel like it.
So, my encouragement to all you wonderful readers is to start declaring some truth over yourselves and see how your outlook changes and how blessed you will be (seriously check out Michelle's blog for some amazing declarations and let her know i sent you!) and also even when someone is being rude or mean to you -- choose to turn the cheek and show them kindness. We are all fighting our own battles. Maybe us being kind to them is planting seeds in their hearts.
Kind words, daily declarations, and love -Monica
*i really don't know anyone named Sally Sue. This was just for illustration purposes. (: *
Monday, December 10, 2012
Taking control of my emotions.
So... I would consider myself a pretty emotional person. I cry when I need to. I laugh A LOT (even when I am nervous and in completely awkward moments for someone to laugh or smile). I yell. I scream. And I cry again.
Now I think it is a good thing to be in touch with your emotions. I don't ever want my heart to be hardened.
BUT there can be a point where we need to take stand of our emotions and not allow them to control us.
This is where I am at currently.
The past week I have felt my emotions (and crazy hormones) control me... and I want it to change.
The bible says {Ephesians 4:26} to be angry and sin not.
Well... since I am being HONEST on my blog.... I have failed in that the past few weeks.
I have allowed my anger to overflow like a flood attacking my husband. Something I am NOT proud of.
I have let my stress get so unbearable that I have SINNED!
This next week (and forever) I want to learn to take control of my emotions. I will no longer let my emotions rule over me.
I know its not easy... and sometimes I get mad/frustrated over nothing but I have to choose to breathe and not sin. I need to take that extra moment to focus on responding in love instead of reacting in anger.
I also had to ask my amazing husband to extend a little more grace currently... but that never gives me an excuse to be mean all the time.
If you have been a little more "on edge" lately how can you work on taking control of your emotions?
Emotions, more grace, and love. - Monica
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Enjoy life
I think that no matter which season we are in... we can sometimes lose our joy when we become to focused on the future.
If you are single you {impatiently} wait for the day when you are married.
When you get married you long for the day when you have a baby.
You might have a job but you work even harder to get to the next level.
You are enrolled in school but day dream of when you will finally graduate.
I am sure we have all done it at some point in our lives - I know I have.
During this month of thankfullness (and reading the #Shereadstruth devotion on thankfulness) it has really been making me think more about all the blessings I have.
I don't think life will EVER be perfect, there will always be room for some sort of improvement. And I don't think it is bad to hope and be excited for your future (I am BEYOND excited for the day I will be a mother) but remember to stop and enjoy this day, at this hour, at this moment that the Lord has given us. We have so many reasons to smile.
If life isn't EXACTLY how you pictured it... know that I am praying that God will reveal all the beauty that surrounds you. Joy will ALWAYS come in the morning, lovely.
Enjoying life at this moment and love. -Monica
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Overcoming obstacles.
Our washing machine and dryer are located in our huge garage.
We noticed a couple of weeks ago that there was a small puddle in the middle of the garage. It started getting larger and larger and we thought that the washing machine had a leak.
Yesterday my wonderful husband checked and rechecked all the plugs and hoses to fix the leak, but he wasn't sure how to fix the stagnant water problem in the middle of our garage.
He decided to use a hose and blast the water out.
When i came down stairs to check on him, there was even more water in the garage along with a very frustrated and overwhelmed man.
I thought he was just going to give up and our garage would just eventually dry up (or have a puddle of stagnant water forever).
But Martin was determined and through his frustration he kept going. He started grabbing towels and trying to push the water out but that wasn't really working. The towels got thrown on the ground.
He borrowed the neighbors leaf blower and tried to get the water out that way... But that seemed to just spread the water.
I saw my husband hit that wall. That feeling like you can't get it. You are done. Its not working. I thought (for the second time) that we would stop... But he amazed me and pushed through it.
He grabbed this piece of metal thing, angled it to the ground, and scraped the water out. It started to work!!! The water was being pushed out of the garage! He kept it up and got a lot out. He grabbed the leaf blower and dried up the entire garage!!! After about four hours of a constant obstacle he overcame it!
I hadn't been as proud of my husband as i was then. He did it! He experienced a huge obstacle and was able to use the tools he had and got through it!
Frustrations, doubt, anger, and annoyance came but my man was able to overcome.
Afterward it started making me think of all the obstacles we face in life and how often times we can feel so done. So ready to give up. We feel like the tools we have aren't good enough to get the job done or worse- they make it harder on us. But keep going. Don't give up. Persevere. Fight through those frustrations and feelings of shortcomings.
God has given you the tools to get through it. Sometimes you have to use them over and over again but you will get it.
Not only did Martin fix the problem (a leaky washing machine), he also cleaned up the mess (huge puddle of water). Remember that often times you will need to do both.
But God is gracious and is rooting you on!
If you are currently going through any type of obstacle know that you will see the other side of it. I understand it feels like it won't ever end and that you are not prepared...but you are. You are.
Let God use hard times to equip you, not to beat you.
fixed washers, obstacles, and love. - Monica
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Conflict Resolution
Well my computer is still at the doctor (boo) so here i am blogging from the smart cellular. Hehe.
This weekend husby and i went on some fun dates! We went to the local high school football game on Friday. We went to lunch at a nice little restaurant, saw Taken 2, and went to a new church/worship service on Saturday. On Sunday we went to our church and then lunch at one of our favorite places.
It was a really great weekend.
But it had the potential to be a not so great weekend. On Friday night after the game my prince and i got into (dun dun dun) an argument.
I know what you are thinking, "but Monica, you are married which means you never fight. You are a Christian wife and have a Christian husband, what is happening?
i thought your marriage was perfect because of all the stuff you post on twitter and instagram (Mrs_v820).
I am baffled! How could you have argued?"
Ok, hopefully you don't think like that... But i would be lying if i said that I didn't kinda think that way when i was single.
I want to be real on my blog. I don't want to paint this picture of the perfect marriage that is unattainable.
My husband and i are two months into our second year of marriage and we are still learning! We get into arguments. We disagree sometimes. Occasionally we hurt the other persons feelings. We forgive. We apologize. We forgive. We apologize. We forgive again.
So.... conflict can come from anywhere. Insecurity. Past hurts (caused by the person or other people). Misunderstanding. Not communicating at all. Frustrations. Fear. Confusion. And the list can go on and on.
We, as individuals, need to deal with things like past hurt, fear, insecurities, learning to communicate effectively, etc. But let's pretend (well... Its not really pretending for me) that we haven't dealt with every single issue yet... And a conflict has happened.
This isn't an issue at our house but for the sake of conflict resolution we will use this small example.
Your husband left the toilet seat up!!! Oh great! Out of your anger and frustration you confront your husband who has just got home from work. Out of his defensiveness and tiredness the conflict emerges.
Here are some things i have learned..... Uh.... things i am learning about conflict resolution.
1) talk calmly. Even if the other person confronts you with loudness and harsh words. Usually if you can keep your cool the other person will calm themselves down too.
2) use your best communication skills. Let the other person know that you HEAR them.
3) do not try to "win" the argument. You guys are a TEAM! the goal is to get to an understanding ... Not to win or hurt the other person more.
4) don't play the blame game (this is YOUR fault. You always do this. I get,mad because of YOU!). this is also a game with no winners.
Use phrases like "when you do this... It makes me feel...." That way your spouse knows that its not HIM and you can effectively express how you feel without being offensive (when you leave the toilet seat up it makes me feel disrespected. When you yell and scrream at me it makes me feel attacked.
When you don't call me when you leave the store it makes me feel worried. When you don't want to hold my hand it makes me feel unloved." )
5) never bring up past things that you have already forgiven him for (this is just like last Friday when you left the seat up!)
6) let them know again that you truly hear them by talking about what has been said when you apologize and agree to work on what caused the conflict. (ok sweetheart i never want you to feel disrespected. So will try my best to remember to put the toilet seat down and i am very sorry.)
7) in a conflict it is good for both of you to apologize and forgive and agree to change. (i am sorry too. I don't ever want you to feel attacked so i will work on how i approach you)
8) it is never to late to humble yourself and apologize. Even if you feel the conflict has been resolved still apologize!,still forgive. It helps your marriage so so much.
Also remember that you married an imperfect person and you as well are imperfect. Jesus is the only perfect one. When we remind ourselves that our spouse is not perfect we can start to forgive more frequently... Because we also need that constant forgiveness.
Like i have always said make sure you are responding in love and not reacting in anger.
Husby and i are still learning. Still growing. Still experiencing and making mistakes. But we do it together.
{Ephesians 4:26 NKJV}
“Be angry, and do not sin” : do not let the sun go down on your wrath,
Resolving conflict and love. - Monica
Thursday, September 27, 2012
A change in a lifestyle
Lately i have been thinking about some verses in Galatians 1 (thanks #shereadstruth).
Paul is speaking:
Afterward i went into the regions of Syria and Cilicia. And i was unknown by face to the churches of Judea which were in Christ. But they were hearing only, "He who formerly persecuted us now preaches the faith which he once tried to destroy" And they glorified God in me.
{1 Galatians 21-24}
Wow! It just impacts me so so much. Paul persecuted Christians!!! He wanted to DESTROY the faith. Now he is going around and proclaiming the good works of the Lord.
What i love about this is that it says they didn't know Paul.... They just heard about him. It says they HEARD that he was once not living for God (pretty much as opposite you can be) but NNOOWWW after experiencing God He is sharing the faith. Makes me think "let's give them something to talk about..."
And then what did they do?? They GLORIFIED God in him because of it.
Paul's actions DID NOT save him (we are saved by faith through Jesus who died for our sins) but his changes in his lifestyle have glory to God.
Wow.... Let's read it again because it just touches my heart.
The things we do CANNOT save us... But our lifestyle changes will give glory to our Lord.
So don't do things to get a gold star from God or to work your way into heaven - he already loves you and has paid the price..... But do it to give glory to the One.
If you have made mistakes in your past - which we all have - remember that God loves you with an everlasting love and NOTHING can separate you from Him. You are never to far gone that you can't be used by God. Look at Paul (formerly known as Saul) ... He was persecuting the early Christians but then after encountering the Lord... was so used to preach and give glory to God.
We can do that too. (:
I am made new by love, Monica
Friday, September 7, 2012
Trust the process
this was before he left in Jun 2010 at a friend's wedding. Cant tell in pictures we were struggling. |
A couple of weeks had passed and we found out that it really meant "NO DATING." The following months to come our communication was limited and we had to break our soul tie to each other.
Let me preface -- before he left for So Cal Martin and I were struggling. We were dealing with a lot insecurity, doubt, trust issues, jealousy, and just being so far from the Lord. We tried and our hearts cried out for the Lord... but we were still lost.
At the time when his pastors told us we couldn't have a relationship any longer and we needed to stop communicating -- I was upset!!! Oh my sadness I was upset! To put it incredibly dramaticly -- I felt like someone was ripping out my heart! Not only was my boyfriend 10+ hours away.. but now I can't even communicate with him!? Not even letters. :(
I felt confused and lost. People around me didn't understand the reasoning behind it (at times I didn't full understand the reasoning) but for 4 straight months we didnt say one word to each other. I HAD to trust and rely on the Lord. I had to pray to Him and fall even more in love with the Lord.
My love came home for Christmas break and it was a little awkward in the beginning. We were able to spend some time together -- but not kissing or holding hands or anything. We had given each other to the Lord in this season and we were TRYING to trust this process.
Hubby still proposed on Christmas morning and then left a week later back to school. The following 4 months were a little more confusing because we were engaged but still couldn't talk. I was planning a wedding with him... but it still felt a little.. unsettled.
Christmas break 2010 |
his graduation. (: 5.8.10 my birthday |
Summer before our wedding. (: WWAAYY better place in our relationship! God is good! |
We still have our ups and downs but with everything we have been through we are able to look to the Lord in any situation.
Its tough to trust the process when you are in it. When things don't seem to be going the way we want them to go its hard to say "ok, God I know there is a reason in this." More often then not we are thinking, "Get me outta here!!!" Remember that God could be preparing you for something. It may not be for right now... but it could be for your future. I don't think Martin and I would have the marriage we have today if we didn't have that tough season. Trust the process and remember that He makes all things together for your good. :)
huge hugs from my home to yours!
processes and love. - Monica
♥ . ♥ . ♥
Thursday, August 2, 2012
choosing joy
via pinterest |
I love this simple quote.
Sometimes we really need to SAY this out loud in order to follow through with it.
With everything that can be going on around you.. it can be really hard to see the happiness. Personal issues. Relationship problems. Family drama. Media! (I mean watching the news is filled with negativity... Chic-fil-A anyone?) Its easy to lose that joy and turn your focus on the craziness around you.
We can be affected by all those bad thoughts and it can ruin our mood. We tend to take it out on others and then the joy is no where to be found.
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
Also make sure to check out my new facebook page. (:
Monday, July 2, 2012
Trusting God & Blog Love { The Random Writings of Rachel }
This weekend there were excessive heat advisory warnings so my weekend was spent inside relaxing with my love in the air conditioned house.
This morning I got up, cleaned, started laundry, drank some coffee, and read my devotional. Ever since Friday I have been trying to find that joy again and just rest in the Lord.
I am focusing on that He has divinely put me here in Alabama and although at times I cannot see the reason why.. He is such a good God and has great plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11).
I will trust Him. (:
I am on this journey and I put my hands in God's hands and will follow Him. I may have to remind myself this over and over again, but I will not stop going where He is leading me. My trust is in Him.
- ♥ - ♥ - ♥
I so adore this blog-world! I get to meet so many amazing people from all walks of life! I am loving every single one of my readers and blogs that I come into contact with.
Here is a blog that I have found recently. Rachel is extremely intelligent and such a sweet soul! Go give her blog a look- see! (:
If you would like to do a button swap just email me at mrsv820@gmail.com (:
-.-.-.-.-
Hi! I'm Rachel and I blog at The Random Writings of Rachel
I am, as you might expect, in love with my husband Angel. I just graduated college with a degree in Mandarin Chinese. I'm passionate about too many things, among them the Word of God and languages. I'm fascinated by words in general. And, if you are American, you really need to read this, which will give you important information about how to pronounce the capital of China. Okay, okay, I'm a geek. You're going to notice that eventually if you read my blog, so I might as well admit it. It's not something that I'm proud of, hence the fuchsia tights paired with turquoise dresses. My ultimate plan is to disguise the fact that I'm a geek by wearing the most non-geeky clothes imaginable. Sometimes it works.
I write about anything that comes to mind. It could be clothes, crafts, or cemeteries. Sometimes you can't take me too seriously, other times you can. Come on over and get to know me!
-.-.-.-.-
new found trust, blog friends, and love. - Monica
♥ . ♥ . ♥
Friday, April 20, 2012
Little blessings
I just got back from the laundry mat
Two days ago yours truly was in charge of getting all the laundry done including my husband's work clothes.
After what seemed like 100 hours I had everything clean, folded, and in the bag! Since laundry is my least favorite chore (I would rather do yard work.. or clean the bathroom... or clean someone else's house then do laundry) I was feeling really good about myself that it got done.
All those feelings quickly dissipated when Martin was picking out his work clothes for the following morning.
Apparently I had left two of the three work pants at the laundry mat. Because it was already late and Martin and I needed to get up at 3:30 the next morning, Martin said that we should just forget about it.
Yesterday I didn't have the car so I couldn't check if the pants were there but I thought it was worth a shot to see.
When I pulled up to the laundry mat I said a quick little prayer and in I went.
They had the pants!!! The manager said he found them still in the dryer last night and put them inside. I was sooo stinking excited! Martin has clean pants to wear to work and we don't have to spend money to buy new ones! (:
It just reminded me again of all the blessings that surround me.
Like if I were to truly think about ever.single.blessing my heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness.
I have food. A roof over my head. Clothes (clean too!!!). A phone. Air. The ability to walk. So much!
I really want my heart to always be thankful toward the Lord. For all that He has done and all that He is doing.
Sure I have bad days... its not always smiles. There are times when we only have top ramen to eat (although my husband LOVES top ramen lol). There has been times when we couldn't pay some bills. There has been tears... but I can't let it get to me.
When I take the time to think about all the blessings, they completely outweigh the sadness and hard times.
Countless blessings and love. - Monica
♥ . ♥ . ♥
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
i want to leave a legacy
Monday, February 6, 2012
my favorite month!!!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Playoffs and believing in yourself
My husband is a lifelong 49er fan. The entire family is. Now... the 49ers weren't always the greatest team, i guess. Apparently they went through tons of coaches went through many seasons with not too many wins. Last year they only won 6 games and lost 10 games!
This year their record for the regular season was 13-3 and are now going to play in the NFC championship game (only one game before the Superbowl)!
playoff games, believing, and love. - Monica
Monday, January 9, 2012
coffee chat (correction)
My sister bought my hubby and i an espresso machine that i am in love with! Sure it is sooo noisy and often disrupts my husband's tv time... but i am enjoying the delicious tastes that it produces.
I love having coffee with friends. I love just hanging out and hearing each other's hearts. I love spending quality time with people that i enjoy and learning more and more about them.
Recently the thing that has been on my heart a lot lately is taking correction.
Those who pay no attention to discipline (activity, exercise, or a regimen that improves or develops a skill) despise themselves, but the one who gives careful attention to correction gains understanding.
Correction. We need it. Sometimes it is hard to hear.. and our flesh wants to fight it but we need that correction. We need to take it and apply it to our lives. Being married i am learning more and more about correction. Listening to my husband and hearing his heart is what benefits our marriage. And him doing the same. If he sees something in me that maybe needs the Lord's correction i have to heed that correction to gain understanding. And if i see something in him that maybe needs that same correction... i pray he would do the same.
Its not always easy. Constructive criticism can be hard to swallow... but it can also be beneficial to us. We just need to approach the situation with love, honor, and respect.
So that is where i am at this morning as i type this. Learning about proper Godly correction.
coffee chat, heeding to correction, and love. - Monica
♥ . ♥ . ♥
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
being silly
John 15:11 (NKJV)
Monday, December 19, 2011
relaxing with my curly hair.
Yesterday was church and my handsome hubby and i decided to dress up a little. He wore slacks, a nice shirt, and a sweater... and i wore a dress with some leggings (since it is FREEZING! ).
Church was really great and i feel like everytime we go..i love it more! :) With Christmas only a week away they talked about the spirit and meaning of Christmas. I loved it!
We can tend to forget the TRUE meaning of Christmas when we are running around, shopping, preparing to cook, trying to get together with family, and working to get all the extra holiday cash. There are parties, cards, gifts, long lines, wrapping, busy stores and everything else that can get in the way of us remembering the meaning of Christmas in the first place - Our Savior's birth. So the pastor had us remember to take joy in the birth of Christ and all that it means. Our salvation. Our entire faith is based upon the birth of Jesus. (: So.. remember that when you are running around with the holiday fever! Remember to take a moment and give praise to God for sending His son.
After church we rushed home and i got RIGHT into comfy, warm clothes! It was been sooo cold lately. Sunny... but cold. So i looked like this:
♥ . ♥ . ♥
Thursday, December 15, 2011
what do you want to be known for?
Lately i have been thinking a lot about what i want to be known for. When people think about who i am.. what do they think about? When strangers meet me.. what is their first impression of me?
I started seriously thinking about what i WANT to be known for. I want to be known for my love. For my kindness. For my never-failing faith. For my laughter. For my joy. For my tangible peace that i carry. For my love for my husband and (future) children. I want to be known as a strong woman of God.
A lot of people will ask a question like "what will be written on your tombstone?" I have been thinking about it even MORE. What do i want to be known for RIGHT NOW? What kind of life do what i want live right now? I want to start living with those questions. What is my legacy? What am i leaving behind?
In the book i am re-reading (Feminine Appeal) i read something that has impacted me greatly. The author wrote that "people don't necessarily want to know what we believe in the Bible. They want to SEE if what we BELIEVE makes a difference in our lives.... Our actions either bring honor to God or misrepresent His truth."
Wow... such powerful words! So true. I want to beautifully represent His truth and bring honor to God. That is my heart. I know that it isnt always easy... and i am sooo grateful that i have a Savior to guide me along the way.
So what do you want to be known for? Have you ever thought about it?
joy, peace, and love. - M
♥ . ♥ . ♥