Saturday, October 24, 2015

fresh start.

Today is an exciting day for our little family. 

Today, after a long transition season, we are moving into our apartment! 

The past 6 months has been filled with driving, suit cases, unpacked boxes, squishing all in one bed, staying with family, and being on someone else's schedule. 
We have enjoyed this season of seeing family we havent seen in years and having help with our boys as we mesh into a family of 4. 

Now, JaydenMichael is about to be 6 months and crawling all over the place.... and SethJason is a typical two year old. It was time we got into our own place. 

We were so blessed and were able to buy everything we needed or were gifted by members in the church my in laws go to. And to be honest with you...... we have never had this nice of stuff. 
I am so so excited to have my own place to decorate again. 
Our apartment has a work out room, pool, and even a playground! It still is a commute for Husby for work but it was right at our price point and with everything, we couldnt pass it up. 

This whole getting back to our own place really feels like a fresh start.

Husby and I have had some really great conversation the past week about changes we wanted to make in our lives to better our marriage and family. I wouldnt say we were struggling but, as always, there is room for improvement. 
We have made the decision to start doing family devotion time again so I bought both of us our own daily devotionals as well as a couples one to do once a week. I even got SethJason a little toddler one (Jesus Calling for Little Ones by Sarah Young. $5 on amazon)! 
So every morning we will have some family devotion time in our new apartment with delicious coffee made from our Keurig (my splurge item). 

It was easy for us to decide to make all these changes with this new big transition. 
We want to invest more into our boys and each other. We desire to have Christ first in our marriage and in our parenting. This is truly a fresh start for us. 
I know we didnt NEED a move to decide to make these changes but it just felt right in this season. A lot of people do New Year's Resolutions to start doing things differently. These instances make us reevaluate how we are living and prompt us to change. 

Remember sweet friends, you dont need a new year, or big move, or different season to start fresh. His mercies are new every day (Lamentations 3:22-23) and His joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5). No matter what is going on, what season we are in, what we lack, or what we are afraid of.... we can always turn a new leaf. We can always run to the Lord. Whether we are already living wholeheartedly after Jesus, feeling a little lukewarm, or just heard of His name yesterday -- He is there waiting for us. 
We can make a commitment for change. 

So, that is where I am at today. 

starting fresh.

new apartments, renewing commitments, and love. - Mrs. V

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

I love Fall

The title of this post says it all.... I love Fall.

Like truly truly love. 

I have literally been picking out everything I can that is pumpkin spice. 

YUP. I am one of those girls. 

I have had pumpkin spice coffee, pancakes, mochi, m&ms, waffles, tea, and of course pumpkin spice lattes. I cant wait to go to Trader Joes this weekend and pick up some more pumpkin items too (mmm.. pumpkin chai is on my list).

I am only allowed to endulge in this spicy, sweet, delicious little  big gourd one season a year. So I get as much as I can, while I can.

Speaking of those beautiful orange vegetables, I am extremely excited to take my boys to their first pumpkin patch next weekend. We have been putting it off for so long but I told my Husby that we have to do it next weekend since there are only 2 more weekends left in October.
I am still debating whether we will carve them or just paint them.. but of course I have to take pictures of SethJason and JaydenMicheal in the pumpkins.

SethJason and I have also been enjoying the falling leaves.
He has been wanting to go outside everyday... which I am totally okay with.
He runs and jumps and throws the leaves all over.
Today I was editing a picture I took of him and tells me "pho down" and grabs my hand.
Nothing makes me want to jump up faster then my 2 year old telling me to unplug.
we ran and jumped over the leaves together.

It still isnt THAT cold... well, besides in the morning time... but I am so ready to walk around in my leggings, boots, and scarves.

Truly, I wish it was Fall all year round... but then maybe I wouldnt appreciate as much.

Whats your favorite season? Is pumpkin spice your friend or foe?

falling leaves, more pumpkin spice, and love. - Mrs. V



Tuesday, October 13, 2015

what you dont see {social media lies}

My little family of four had family pictures taken last week.
I try to take pictures once a year to see our family grow and get older. I really really love getting them done. My husband and kids done exactly look forward to it, the way that I do. hehe.

After getting some previews back and posting them to social media I realized something... social media totally lies!



You see this super cute picture of my guys and I laughing. Pure joy on our faces.
And although it is true..... it isnt all that is there.

You dont see that my amazing husband and I were arguing that morning while getting ready to go.

You dont see that I got maybe 5 hours of sleep (NOT in a row).

You dont see that my 2 year old is very strong willed and independant and even the simplest task can be a struggle.

You dont see that my 5 month old is starting to teethe and wanting to be held nonstop.

You dont see that we worry about bills being paid, that the house was dirty, and there was so much laundry to do.

You dont see that I have insecurites. About my looks, my mothering ability, my wife skills, and being adequate.

You dont see that my husband just worked 6 days straight and only had that day off to start all over again.

- . - . - . -

Now, I dont believe that we should share every little nitty gritty detail on social media. Facebook, Twitter, and instagram are not appropriate places to publicly vent to (in my opinion).
But just know that the picture or status you are envious of or comparing yourself to isnt the whole truth.
I know, for me, I look at other people's homes or activities with their kids and I look over at SethJason, who is watching his 3rd episode of Little Einsteins, and I feel awful!
I read a status about how in love two people are, while I am in mid-argument with my husband, and I feel jealous.


Comparison is the thief of joy.

Social media is the highlight reel!
You see the filtered, cropped, sometimes staged, edited versions of their lives.
If your life is messy, crazy, confusing, frustrating, sometimes tough, know that you are not alone! Those moments just dont make it on to my instagram.

laughs, tears, and love. - Mrs V.




Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Today is a good day. 

Today is the first day of Autumn. 

My absolute favorite season of all!. 

My day started out with a delicious cup of Trader Joes pumpkin spice coffee, my littles playing, and my Bible. Really, it couldnt have been more perfect. 

t h e n ....

.... my 2 year old, who has been potty trained for about 2 weeks, had two accidents. My 5 month old did not have to be put down at all. JaydenMichael is usually really happy and laid back but today he was just not having it. He cried on the floor. He cried while nursing. He cried in the jumper. SethJason just wanted to play with me {and his little brother} but I was trying to clean the kitchen and keep JaydenMichael quiet. SethJason had a few meltdowns because he wanted to use his new sippycup {which was dirty}, he did not like what we were watching {because I can only watch Little Einsteins so many times}, and I wouldnt like him sit on his little brother {yup, just yup}. 

This is life.

Sometimes it isnt pretty enough to put on instagram or awesome enough to put on youtube. 

Some days you wake up and have an amazing morning and then it can get crazy and you are SOOO looking forward to bedtime. 

But i wouldnt trade this for anything. 

And now my littles are asleep and my husband is home. (: 

big cups of pumpkin spice coffee and love, Monica 

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Moving, moving, moving

I feel like I am ALWAYS moving.

From California to Alabama. From Alabama to Missouri. Missouri to Kansas. Kansas to Missouri.  And our latest: Missouri  to California.

For the longest time we were looking forward to moving and living in California. Our family,  friends, church, in n out, and so much of what we love is in California.
I miss my family beyond words. I was so looking forward to having friends that are already in my life.

But ... it didn't work out.

Our home no longer felt like home.

It was such a strange feeling and really it left me sad.

Doors were being closed and it just didn't feel right.

We prayed and decided as a family to ...
... move back to Missouri.

Crazy, right?

But we really feel that God has guided us and continues to guide us.

We will trust Him.

And now I am just excited and relieved to make this place home!

No more moving and love, Mrs. Very

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Top Knots and sippy cups - rebrand

So,

I am totally redoing this little blog i call "home."

I have had this blog for many many years before ever meeting my husband and ALOT has changed in my life since then.
I know that I am starting to get into a routine again with life (not feeling so much like a first time mom anymore) and I thought with that, I should bring back this place I had fallen so in love with.

I am a journaler.

I don't have terrific grammar. I won't pretend to be the next great writer or use big words.
I cannot compete with the top blogger or even blogs I enjoy reading. I probably won't have great mommy advice (which really starts to confuse me... i read way to many articles). My marriage is not perfect and I promise to not try to put on that facade (trust me. we bicker and argue like the rest of them.... I am just not into putting that all out on social media).

I just want a place where I can write my thoughts, talk about my two amazing little boys, reflect on what the Lord is teaching me, and learn from my marriage. I also love getting insight from my beautiful friends (ahem, readers) and being inspired by you all!

- . - . - . -

I am sure you have noticed the new URL and new blog name. The rest of the blog will slowly get a makeover too (slowly because I have no idea what I am doing but i dont have hundreds of dollars to pay for a design).

Welcome sweet friends to:
Top Knots And Sippy Cups!

Still just me - with a different name (but dont worry... I am still and always will be captivated by love).

I also started a youtube channel for more of the fun family stuff. Type in TopKnots&SippyCups to find it and subscribe.

https://youtu.be/vk2PSYCttck {here is SethJason's 2 year well check video}

messy top knots, sippy cups of juice, and love, Monica.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Birth Story of Jayden Michael {natural VBAC}

11 days past my estimated due date I woke up at 3am to my son crying from his crib. I went in his room and rubbed his back like so many nights before. Except this time, I was having contractions. REAL contractions, not the false ones I had been experiencing for weeks before this. I rubbed Seth's back while trying to rock back and forth and manage these light contractions. I went back to bed and woke up again at 6am because my contractions were getting stronger. I decided to FINALLY time them. 



Lasting about 30 seconds and roughly 10 minutes apart, I knew that I would meet my second baby boy soon. 

I continued to manage through them since they weren't that severe while I fed my son breakfast and watched Jake and the Neverland Pirates. I told my husband that I thought today was the day and he called into work and got our son all ready for a slumber party at grandma's house. I called my midwife to let them know what was going on. The day before at my appointment she told me to take castor oil in the morning and I was delighted to tell her I didn't need to. I told her I would just keep timing the contractions and would call back when things picked up. I also let my doulas know what was happening and told them I would have them come when I couldn't handle them on my own. 

My doulas came over at around noon and were just a dream. My contractions were about a minute long and coming every 6-9 minutes at that time. They helped me with counter pressure, encouragement, prayers, and making me laugh. We would be talking and then when a contraction would come I would put my head down and they knew to be quiet and help me through them. In between these contractions we would talk and laugh while I ate some delicious trail mix. The contraction would come and everything got silent besides my low groans and breathing. 
I thought these were soo painful. At about 5pm I called my midwife and said I thought I should come in and see what was happening. The contractions were stronger and coming about every 4-5 minutes [ my birth center had a 4-1-1 rule before I could get checked in. Contractions need to be 4 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute, for 1 hour]. 
We got to the birth center so excited for some good news. My midwife checked me and i was only about 4cm and she sent me home until my contractions were stronger. 
My husband, doulas, and I decided to grab some dinner. I had contractions throughout dinner but I was managing through them well. I would squirm in my chair and just breathe through. 
I decided to have my doulas go home since I felt like we still had a LONG night ahead of us. 

At about 7pm My husband and I went home and he drew me the most relaxing bath with candles and worship music. I put some clary sage oil on my belly per my doula's advice to speed up the contractions. I drank a huge bottle of water and just laid in the bath while I was breathing through the contractions. At about 9pm I went to bed to try to sleep for awhile since I was just so so exhausted. I fell asleep inbetween contractions. {My husband even said he heard me snoring!} At 11:00pm my contractions were getting really intense! I felt a painful pop and when I got up i felt a gush. My water broke! We called my midwife and told her we will be coming. My husband also texted my doulas and told them to meet us there. 

By 1am on April 29 we were all in the birth center and I was 7cm and transitioning. The nurse made me a berry smoothie when we first got in the room, which I immediately threw up (something I said i didnt want to happen during labor. And i only drank like 2 drinks and then it just didnt sound good after that.) I got in their big birthing tub to help with the contractions. And honestly.... it didnt help much. 

A lot of natural labors and deliveries are always described so beautifully and like the mom was calm and serene during the whole thing. This was not the case here. I had all these beautiful mantras to say and things I wanted... but really what I said mostly the entire time was "ouch!!! I dont know if I can do this!" At one point I remember looking at my midwife and asking if I could just run away. I literally cried out to Jesus the entire time. "Jesus, please help me." I did not know I could experience THAT kind of pain and not just die. 
{Now remember [insert flash back music] my first son was born c-section and I got an epidural at 5.5cm WAY before transition. I had NO idea what to expect with a natural vaginal birth. Okay, back to this birth.}
At around 2am I got out of the tub and on to the bed to start pushing. The next two hours I pushed in so many different positions. Baby's heartrate would drop in every single position except the "traditional hospital position". No fun. I was so so exhausted. My midwife, nurses, and doulas were just so so wonderful. I kept exclaiming that I couldn't do it because I was just too tired. They were so so encouraging and uplifting. My midwife was tough. A good tough though. She kept reminding me that the other option was a transfer to a hospital to assist with a vacuum. I DID NOT want that... so I kept going. My midwife suggested the birthing chair. I pushed and pushed and pushed. I wished I could just give up. It had been 2 hours of pushing and I was just so so tired. I didnt think I could go on. Then my midwife showed me that my baby was so close and I felt his little head. That just gave me the motivation to muster up strength  I didn't know I had and push my baby into this world. 

At 4:32am on April 29, 2015 Jayden Michael was born into my arms. He was 9 lbs 10 oz and 21 inches long. I held him in just amazement that I helped create this beautiful baby and that my body was capable of bringing him into the world. I was impressed and shocked at myself. Through the entire 22 hours of labor and delivery I hit so so many walls but I was able to get over each one. 



Jayden, I am extremely blessed by you. You are our little miracle and our life has so much more joy now that you are here. I love you so so much my sweet one! We are thankful for you and truly the Lord had heard our cries! 

birth, strength, and love - Mrs. V