to my son on his first day of school

You started school. It was only preschool but still my momma heart leaped for joy at how old you are while simultaneously aching at how old you are.

You venture out into a new world today my sweet boy. A place of learning and expanding your mind. A place of sweet new friendships and brand new experiences. I am so so proud of the little boy you are.

But I hope for so much more... and here are just a few of my heart's prayers for you and your younger brother as you both get older

- I pray you will always know the love of your Father.

  Of course I want you both to always experience the love of the your dad but more then that I want you truly know and understand the love that Your Heavenly Father has for you. The infinite love He has for you (John 3:16). The fact that He knew You and set you apart while you were still in my womb (Jeremiah 1:5). Your God knows everything about you, even the numbers of hairs on your head (Luke 12:7). I pray that you will not just know that in your mind but experience that in your heart. That that love will guide you in your life.

- I pray that you will walk with boldness and courage.

 Life can be scary.. I can never downplay that fact. I wish I could take all the evil away in this world but I cannot. Everything from the boogie man in the dark to frightening life events... I would take it all away. But I do not have that power. But you, my precious boy, were not born with a spirit of fear but of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7) Declare that over yourself in times you are feeling scared. Walk in the confidence that God has given you. Not in the world's cockiness but in the confidence that only God can give us.

- I pray that you will be a leader.

 You are feisty. You are energetic. You are strong willed. You are determined. All of these things can help you to become an amazing leader in the Kingdom. I hope that these things wont change but that you see the strength in it and that as your mother I can cultivate it well.

- I pray that you always seek compassion.

 From comforting your brother when he is upset to helping me with cleaning, never stop seeking compassion. Keep your heart tender, sweet boy. Don't allow the world, circumstances, relationships, or short comings to harden your heart. I pray that God will always keep your heart soft.

- I pray that no matter what you will desire to serve the Lord.

  One of my largest prayers for you and your brother is that you will not just be a believer of Jesus but a follower of Jesus. Even when its hard. Even when its confusing. Even when you stand alone in the crowd. Lets us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9) I pray you and your brother will sow goodness and reap goodness.

I love you beyond measure my son. You and your little brother are such a gift to me and I thank God daily that I have the honor and privilege of being your mom.

Always and Forever,

Mom



From one mom to another

My handsome boy is 8 months old now. 

What an incredible, exhausting, and rewarding journey this has been so far. 

Being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life so far. 

Meeting my son's basic needs is not even the half of it. 

He is constantly changing and growing. Expanding and exploring. My child is experiencing and persevering. He is finding his limits and noticing his surroundings. What worked last month {to make him sleep, laugh, calm down, stay still, etc...) might not work now or next month. He is andventurerer. 

And somehow, I, as imperfect as I am, am supposed to help him, nurture him, protect him, and cultivate him. 

I am also learning and growing. Expanding and being stretched. Being Pushed to my limits and back again. Doing things I couldn't believe I could do. 

Like ....

Going without sleep. 

Putting his needs above my own. 

Feeling overwhelmed. 

Smiling at small moments. 

Wishing to pause time. 

And at some instances wishing to fast forward (teething, anyone?).

Before I was pregnant I imagined what kind of mother I would be. 

Gracious.

Patient.

Involved. 

I pictured how I would react and how I would raise this little prince. 

I took all those expectations... And threw them out the window! Very early on in my son's life I was being choked by this perception of what motherhood is. 

Now... My prayer daily is that I would parent my amazing son in a way that gives God glory. And I thank Him for new grace. New joy. Every single morning. 

And at times I fail. Sometimes I cry. Certain days I have no idea what I'm doing! Sometimes I fall short. And I know I will again. 

But this is motherhood. 

The small moments. The giggles. The obstacles. The tantrums. The smiles. The moments between NapTime and play time. The new accomplishments and the mundane daily activities. 

We are all growing and learning, mamas. 

So have grace for yourself, sweet friends.

Bath times, teething toys, and love. - Monica