Wednesday, March 25, 2015

grief {honoring her name}

I wrote this months ago but never posted. It has no been over a year and these words are still incredibly true. I still wish to honor her name and all that she has passed down to me. If you are experiencing grief, please talk about it, write about it, and remember to honor their lives. 

Some of you may know that my beloved aunt passed away a few months ago.

"Auntie Gee" (as everyone called her) pretty much raised me when I was taken away from my parents due to their own struggles. I lived with her for about year or more when I was 5yrs old. And From 14 yrs old on... I lived with Auntie Gee.
I am forever grateful for her selflessness, acceptance, love, and constant sacrifice  in my life. She took me and my two younger brothers in after raising 4 kids of her own.

My grief will come and go. I feel it in moments where I want to call her to tell her about my day or how SethJason is doing. Times where I would call her because my husband and I were in an argument and i needed her encouragement.  Times where I would normally call just to chat - like on the way to the store, or when the baby went down for a nap.
I spoke to my aunt every single day. She was my best friend in every sense of the word.

Auntie Gee taught me how to be a strong, independent woman. She taught me to speak my feelings out and to never feel bad about my emotions. My aunt taught me to always stand up for what I believe in and trust in the Lord at all times.
Auntie Gee NEVER judged me, or made me feel bad. She was always encouraging.... even if we (my brothers and I) weren't doing well, she still always made us feel loved and accepted. She understood every emotion I was feeling. She would even have to explain to my husband why I was acting the way I was acting. haha.

I know that I wouldn't be the woman I am today without her.

So.... I will miss her forever. I dont think a day will go by without me thinking of her and how she made such a mark on my life.
But i do know that she doesnt want me to sit in my room and cry all day. She doesnt want me to give up on life and blame and question God as to why He took her from me. She doesnt want me to fear the unknown.
My Auntie Gee wants me to LIVE LIFE!

So that is what I am going to do. Live a bigger, better, more beautiful life in honor of her! I will take every wonderful thing she has taught me - from her words, her actions, and her impressions - and I will apply those in my life. I know the words she would say to me and I will honor that.

{my aunt, two cousins, and I when visiting on our way to Alabama in April 2012}

honor and love. - Mrs. V

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

my short marriage realization

Because sometimes marriage is hard

And messy.

Sometimes we forgive more then we laugh. 

Because there are days where we want to run away. 

Because there are moments where I need a lot of grace, and I need to extend the same amount. 

Sometimes I need to be reminded that my spouse is not perfect.... And neither am I. 

There are times in marriage where frustration takes over and communication is lacking

And in these moments is when I am reminded how badly we need Christ at the center. Forever

something I am learning and love. - Mrs V

Tuesday, March 17, 2015


I found this quote on Pinterest and instantly fell in love. 

A mess is probably how I would best describe myself right now. 

Today marks one month before our second son's due date. My days are filled with toddler tantrums, cleaning, cooking, cuddles, naptimes, laundry, coffee, and waddling around. My bible/devotional time is short... if at all. I put on some worship music after naptime to make up for it.... or at least to regain my peace. 
I am trying to best prepare my son, my home, and my heart for the arrival of this new blessing. It is difficult. I am trying to look at my growing body and see the beauty that is in it. We are preparing for another cross country move just a month after baby is here. 

I cry a lot.

 happy tears. frustrated tears. mad tears. scared tears. overwhelmed tears. 

I am a mess.

But i know I wont get these moments back. We wont be a family of 3 for long. My almost two year old wont always want to me to sit and play with his toys with him. My husband won't always have this schedule or this job. I may not always have the beautiful experience to stay home and do all the tedius housework. I wont always have this opportunity to carry a child. 

So, i need to embrace it. Embrace the chaos. Embrace the crazy. Embrace the beauty. and Embrace this mess. 

I encourage all my beautiful readers to embrace the mess that you are. The quirks, the flaws, the fears, the indecisiveness, the confidence, the body, the scars. All of it! You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are indeed, fearfully and wonderfully made!  

embracing the mess with love, Mrs. V