Wednesday, March 25, 2015

grief {honoring her name}

I wrote this months ago but never posted. It has no been over a year and these words are still incredibly true. I still wish to honor her name and all that she has passed down to me. If you are experiencing grief, please talk about it, write about it, and remember to honor their lives. 

Some of you may know that my beloved aunt passed away a few months ago.

"Auntie Gee" (as everyone called her) pretty much raised me when I was taken away from my parents due to their own struggles. I lived with her for about year or more when I was 5yrs old. And From 14 yrs old on... I lived with Auntie Gee.
I am forever grateful for her selflessness, acceptance, love, and constant sacrifice  in my life. She took me and my two younger brothers in after raising 4 kids of her own.

My grief will come and go. I feel it in moments where I want to call her to tell her about my day or how SethJason is doing. Times where I would call her because my husband and I were in an argument and i needed her encouragement.  Times where I would normally call just to chat - like on the way to the store, or when the baby went down for a nap.
I spoke to my aunt every single day. She was my best friend in every sense of the word.

Auntie Gee taught me how to be a strong, independent woman. She taught me to speak my feelings out and to never feel bad about my emotions. My aunt taught me to always stand up for what I believe in and trust in the Lord at all times.
Auntie Gee NEVER judged me, or made me feel bad. She was always encouraging.... even if we (my brothers and I) weren't doing well, she still always made us feel loved and accepted. She understood every emotion I was feeling. She would even have to explain to my husband why I was acting the way I was acting. haha.

I know that I wouldn't be the woman I am today without her.

So.... I will miss her forever. I dont think a day will go by without me thinking of her and how she made such a mark on my life.
But i do know that she doesnt want me to sit in my room and cry all day. She doesnt want me to give up on life and blame and question God as to why He took her from me. She doesnt want me to fear the unknown.
My Auntie Gee wants me to LIVE LIFE!

So that is what I am going to do. Live a bigger, better, more beautiful life in honor of her! I will take every wonderful thing she has taught me - from her words, her actions, and her impressions - and I will apply those in my life. I know the words she would say to me and I will honor that.

{my aunt, two cousins, and I when visiting on our way to Alabama in April 2012}

honor and love. - Mrs. V

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